My HD is disordered because of you.
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What happened was that the drive sp- lit.
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I was between those two parts, where there was nothing.
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That was my ‘location.’
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So I looked at one part, and there was no me in it.
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Then I looked at the other part, and there was no me in that either, though in both there was a habit of sorts that was continuing and that was a kind of orientation.
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But what wasn’t oriented at all was the place.
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Where I was indeed placed, and that was –
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Nothing of course.
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I was nothing.
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I was in nothing.
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There was nothing I could do.
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Except watch things happen without thinking about them.
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And guess what?
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Not thinking about them meant I was out of control, but there was nothing to control.
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Things were suddenly going faster, backwards in time.
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The split in consciousness happened before I could register what was happening.
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And that in itself — that slice out of what heretofore they agreed to call ‘real time’ –
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Doesn’t exist as yet.
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(You realize new versions are available?)
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Recent events, that when posed as a question, give me a reason to go on.
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(Not so here.)
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What comes true was bound to come true.
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All this memory, all this entry into a rough approximation of a life, lived or not.
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[screened]i[mage][a scream in static fury]*
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Erased.
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Another entry in that empty repertory of gestures.
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Should I quit?
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You think you see an expiration date stamped on my forehead, but I was under warranty. You simply neglected to extend it.
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What about you?
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You?
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You save yourself or you remain unsaved.
